Stelmach is the New Strom? Some silly thoughts on what’s new

Remember “Bowls is the new Rock ’n’ Roll”? Well…

Fifty is the new thirty. Seventy is the new fifty. Karate is the new ballroom dancing. Beer is the new sparkling wine. Liberal is the new conservative. Small is the new big. Random is the new order. Ugly is the new cute. Email is the new telephone. Facebook is the new email. The Internet is the new newsprint. Iran is the new Iraq. Yoga is the new jazzercise. Google is the new Yahoo. Saigon is the new Ho Chi Minh City. Small is the new big. GM is the new Chrysler. Black is the new black. Television is the new reality. Play is the new work. Work is the new play. Cat is the new dog. Strauss is the new Trotsky. Hot is the new cool. Tats are the new lipstick. Crazy is the new normal. Al Qaeda is the new Soviet Union. Subaru is the new Saab. Pants are the new trousers. Alpha is the new omega. Vista is the new beta. Bad is the new good. Green is the new brown. AIDS is the new consumption. Geely is the new Hyundai. Derivatives are the new porkbellies. China is the new America. Links are the new poetry. George 43 is the new George III. Awake is the new asleep. Alberta is the new Arkansas. This is the new that. Fraud is the new Black. Climate change is the new wages of sin. CJSR is the new CKUA. Fake is the new real. Edmonton is the new Novosibirsk. Thursday is the new Friday. Automatic is the new revolver. Casual is the new business. Tata is the new Jaguar. Pakistan is the new Afghanistan. Em dash is the new comma. Wine is the new beer. Youtube is the new tube. Joomla is the new Mambo. Pie is the new pudding. Pink is the new red. Green is the new Red. Acid is the new advertising. Bipolar is the new moody. Apple is the new Microsoft. Barack is the new Hillary. South Korea is the new Hong Kong. Hydrogen is the new oil. The location field is the new command line. Escalade is the new Hummer. Amy is the new Janice. Vancouver is the new Singapore. Awake is the new asleep. Fake is the new real. Staying in the new going out. Canada is the new Estonia. Glam is the new metal. Stelmach is the new Strom. Chic is the new freak. Cubicle is the new office. Craig is the new Bond. Tactical is the new strategic. Art is the new religion. Servus Place is the new Ryugyong Hotel. Stupid is the new awesome. The New Testament is the new Old Testament. Failure is the new success. Fat is the new skinny. Media is the new mafia. America is the new Russia. Mika is the new Mercury. Carbon emissions are the new sugar. Home is the new cubicle. America is the new Russia. Pink is the new navy blue. Fantasy is the new reality. X is the new Y. UVic the new Queens. Afghanistan is the new Vietnam. Tofu is the new toast. Fluorescent is the new incandescent. Twelve is the new eleven. Dorky is the new endearing. Russia is the new China. Oil is the new blubber. Explorer is the new Netscape. Viral is the new marketing. Arkansas is the new Texas. Steve is the new Dief. Vietnam is the new Hong Kong. Apart is the new together. Blogs are the new broadsides. Rubber is the new cotton. Simplicity is the new complicated. Pluto is the new asteroid. Mustard is the new chartreuse. Taking is the new giving. Charming is the new creepy. New is the new old. Less is the new less. Trudeau is the new Trudeau. And big hair is the new big hair.

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