You couldn’t make this stuff up! Remember the Fiscal Four, the four lads from the Legislature who are going to hold Ed Stelmach’s feet to the fire to make darn sure Ed does what Ed wants to do anyway? Well, they’re all going to wear black until Alberta’s out of the red.
I’m not making this up. I heard it myself on Access TV’s Alberta Prime Time program last Sunday. Battle River-Wainright MLA Doug Griffiths, one of the Fab Four, explained the group’s strategy: “We’re all going to wear black until the province is back in the black.” Never mind the rest of the interview. Even with the softball questions, it didn’t make a heck of a lot of sense.
Personally, I’m going to go on wearing black until they come up with a darker colour. But that’s because I’m with Johnny Cash: “I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down, Livin’ in the hopeless, hungry side of town…”
Not these guys. MLAs Griffiths, Kyle Fawcett, Jonathan Denis and Rob Anderson wear black for the accountants. They want to be just like the Deep Six when they grow up, even if the only remaining member of the Deep Six wears nice blue and grey suits by Giorgio Armani and Sam Abouhassan. They want to be the Four Horsemen of the Fiscal Apocalypse.
Well, that’ll scare the beejeepers out of Premier Ed Stelmach and Wildrose Alliance Leader Danielle Smith too, don’t ya think? Or will it? Remember that story about 10 would-be floor crossers, set to join the Alliance ranks, later amended down to four. Well, Mr. Griffiths mentioned in that Access interview there are six more Tory MLAs who plan to join the Men in Black. 6 + 4 = 10. Hmmmm…..
I’ve got to tell you, though, political movements that dress all in black have a spotty history. It’s just sort of creepy and threatening like the gents in the picture at the top of this page. Wildrose Alliance or Progressive Conservative, it could start to go bad for you, guys, if voters start to get creeped out by your faintly fascistic fashions.
If you must dress in black, better to stick with it for the poor and hopeless. ’Course, then you might want to cross the floor to the NDP. If that’s just not on, wear it because it’s slimming. But as a political uniform? Trust me. Don’t go there!