Ted Morton can 4GEDIT, this vanity plate idea is just 2DUM2LV

Ted Morton’s vanity plate idea, photo grabbed from the Calgary Herald, which won’t mind because they’ve been attracting readers by linking to my blog. Below: New Hampshire vanity plate: “Live free or die,” Freddy Lee Morton with gun.

Holy Cow! Holy sheep, actually. If you wondered what uber-right-wing Tory leadership candidate Ted Morton’s been plotting through all these weeks of silence as his devastating pre-campaign strategic move to get Albertans to line up in his column and to crush the Wildrose Alliance like bugs, well, now we know…

In seven letters or less: Vanity Plates.


Er, Alberta already has vanity places, you say? Not like these, though. They’re blue! (Tory blue.) They have a SHEEP on them! (The voter, Alberta’s provincial animal…) Not that kind of sheep! A big horn sheep, of course. You know, like a mountain goat, only, umm, hornier. Alberta’s provincial mammal – really! I’m not making this up! After all, Alberta’s provincial bird is the … great horned owl!

Instead of “Wild Rose Country” they’ll say “Strong and Free.” (You know, like in the national anthem… as befits an Alberta sovereignist who signed the famous Firewall Manifesto along with such other notorious Western separatists as Stephen Harper and Wiki-assassination advocate Tom Flanagan.)

No more Wild Rose Country? I guess that’ll show that Danielle Smith … wherever Dr. Morton ends up running! Not to mention those other five Tory candidates, DOUG1, DOUG2, GOGARY, REDFORD and RIKRMAN.

And if that doesn’t work, the plates can just say, “Live Free or Die,” the slogan of Dr. Morton’s native Illinois … and maybe of his campaign as well. (Ted’s not from Illinois, you jerk, he’s from Wyoming, by way of California. Flannigan’s from Illinois. And Live Free or Die is New Hampshire’s slogan. … Whatever! And why do you lefties keep bringing that up, anyway?)

The Edmonton Journal says the sheep picture was painted by artist Robert Bateman, who was impressed because Dr. Morton quoted Theodore Roosevelt, who like Dr. Morton was a big gun guy.

The Journal’s reporter didn’t bother to tell us what Dr. Morton quoted President Roosevelt saying, though, so here’s a Teddy Roosevelt quote for you, free of charge: “A vote is like a rifle; its usefulness depends upon the character of the user.”

In seven characters or less, what do think the chances are of this idea getting any voters to start supportin’ Morton? 2LAME2B? 2DUM2LV? 4GEDIT? Suggestions welcome

This post also appears on rabble.ca.

9 Comments on "Ted Morton can 4GEDIT, this vanity plate idea is just 2DUM2LV"

  1. Edwin Mundt says:

    LOL… is that Lucida Handwriting as the font for the "Strong and Free" slogan? Pretty weak. Nothing bolder, thereby embodying the catchphrase? Seems like an afterthought.

  2. Carlos Beca says:

    Well I did not want to sent a comment today because I was affraid of being just as ignorant as this man is. Thanks a lot Morton we really appreciate the new plates and the guns and everything else to feel glorious and free. My goodness what planet am I living in? Is this the same as Morton? Gosh I hope this is it for this man. What a pile of flies food.

  3. Anonymous says:

    That's not a rifle. It's a shotgun.

  4. Anonymous says:

    That's not a firewall, its a declaration of independance! Or maybe we will have UESEH plates in the not so distant future if these cowboy ex-patriates get their way.

  5. Filostrato says:

    A few ideas that Morton might consider for his own vanity plates:

    His chances of winning are OVR8TED.

    He may feal DEFL8TED when he's LMN8TED.

    The idea is DMWITTED.

    (I'll stop now. I think my brain just imploded.)

  6. Curmudgeon-at-Large says:

    For Ted Morton to pretend to be a lover of nature is beyond ludicrous. For him, animals are simply moving targets, and trees are lumber on the hoof.

  7. Carlos Beca says:

    Real good laugh reading Curmudgeon's comment. You forgot to say what he thinks about other Albertans. Hmmm maybe servants of the elites!!!! Something in those lines?

  8. David Harrigan says:

    ONEDERY he would do something so stupid. Maybe it is just the crowd I hang with, but when I ask my friends what the most pressing issue today is, some say health care, others education, some say inequality. Ted might be surprised by relatively small number who are upset at the lack of variety in vanity plates. But we need to get back to the old days – when we were not afraid to carry weapons and shoot at unarmed animals. Back when men were men and sheep were nervous.

  9. Carlos Beca says:

    David I suggest that if you want to feel like a real man go face a unarmed animal without any weapon yourself. That will give you some real self steem. Try for example a Polar Bear. Leave the animals alone, it is bad enough how poorly we treat animals in our industrial farms and slaughter houses. I am sure one day we will be ashamed of what we are doing to other animals starting with the Calgary Stampede.


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