The Albertaliberals spawn Liberalberta … this is a joke, isn’t it?

Raj Sherman kills at Huckabay’s Comedy Club, which of course doesn’t exist. Actual Alberta comedians may not be exactly as illustrated. Below: The re-branded Liberalberta logo; the real Raj Sherman, with his real chief of staff, Jonathan Huckabay; former Alberta NDP Leader Raj Pannu; the Sherman Tank.

THE SCENE: A late fall night in Edmonton, cold. A smoky bar, a comedy club called Huckabay’s. A comedian walks on stage…

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Coff-coff!

COMEDIAN: Hi there. Heard about the Alberta Liberals’ new brand? Raj Sherman, their leader? He’s re-branding them… Ouch!

AUDIENCE: [Feet shuffling, low conversations, sounds of glasses clinking]

COMEDIAN: Cute logo, new colours …  plus he’s renaming the party the …

VOICE: Alberta Party?

COMEDIAN: … Liberalberta Party!

AUDIENCE: [Muffled laughter]

VOICE: Thought they were the Rajbertans now!

SECOND VOICE: Rajtafarians!

THIRD VOICE: We’re livin’ in Rajtopia!

FOURTH VOICE: Geeze, get the hook! This isn’t funny…

COMEDIAN: So, take the Liberalbertans … Please!

DRUMMER: Ba-BAM!

COMEDIAN: If God had wanted us to vote… He wouldn’t have given us the Albertaliberals!

DRUMMER: Ba-da-BING!

AUDIENCE: [More talking, glasses clink, sound of a plate breaking, some applause]

COMEDIAN: So, I hear Raj’s staff took him to the airport last night… His flight leaves on Thursday.

DRUMMER: Ba-BAM!

AUDIENCE: [Voices grow louder]

COMEDIAN: You know that look that people get when they’re going to vote Liberal? Neither does Raj!

DRUMMER: Bim-BAM!

VOICE: Shut up! You stink!

COMEDIAN: Hey, I think we’ve got an Liberalbertan in the crowd! Did ya hear about the Alberta Liberals’ leadership election? Two Liberals walk into a bar! You’d think one of them would have seen it!

DRUMMER: Ba-BOP!

AUDIENCE: [Groans]

COMEDIAN: Hey, a word to the wise ain’t needed. It’s the Liberalbertans who need the advice!

DRUMMER: Ba-DING!

AUDIENCE: [Scattered laughs]

COMEDIAN: So… About Raj … the only guy he listens to is his chief of staff …

AUDIENCE: [Voices grow louder, glasses clinking, a cellphone rings]

COMEDIAN: …Or maybe his chief of staff is the only guy who listens to Raj! … S’cuse me? Drummer?

DRUMMER: Huh? His chief of staff is Jonathan Huckabay. What?… Oh, sorry… Ba-BAM!

AUDIENCE: [More coughing, foot shuffling]

COMEDIAN: The Liberalbertans? Their first slogan was Raj Against the Machine!

DRUMMER: Ba-Ding-BAM!

COMEDIAN: Except it turned out some other Raj owned that one. Anyone remember Raj Pannu? Any Knee-Dippers here tonight?

AUDIENCE: [Scattered cheers]

COMEDIAN: So… they call it re-branding … Ow!

AUDIENCE: [A few laughs]

VOICE: You already said that!

COMEDIAN: It can hurt… Especially if you’re a heifer! Any heifers here tonight?

AUDIENCE: [Scattered cheers]

VOICE: MOO!

COMEDIAN: Or if you’re a Liberal! Last time Rajberta had an idea this bad it was during the election …

DRUMMER: Drrrrrrrrrrrrrr….

COMEDIAN: … When he ran!

DRUMMER: Ba-BAM!

COMEDIAN: No. Seriously… When he had a contest to name his truck!

VOICE: The Crazy Train!

COMEDIAN: I think they decided to call it the Sherman Tank…

DRUMMER: Ba-BOP!

COMEDIAN: You know they used to call Sherman tanks Ronsons? … Because they lit up easily and you couldn’t put out the flame…

VOICE: I don’t get it!

COMEDIAN: Like Raj’s hair!

DRUMMER: Ba-Bop-BAM!

AUDIENCE: [Scattered laughs, another cellphone rings]

COMEDIAN: Hey! How about that email! The one Raj sent when he was still a Progressive Conservalbertan! Who knew that was the day the Liberals would be in trouble?

DRUMMER: CLINK-CLANK!

AUDIENCE: [Glasses tinkle, more voices]

COMEDIAN: Love those cowbells… That new Liberalberta name? I think the idea’s to distract people so they don’t notice … it has the word Liberal in it.

AUDIENCE: [One or two laughs]

DRUMMER: Ba-BAM!

VOICE: This is lame! Go home!

COMEDIAN: Who said that? The manager? Oh, Hi Raj!

AUDIENCE: [Scattered laughs]

COMEDIAN: C’mon, people! It’s hard to get a laugh when the stuff you’re making fun of is already funnier than your gag-writer!

VOICE: Hey, I like the little green flag on the logo…

COMEDIAN: So does the Green Party!

DRUMMER: Ba-DING!

COMEDIAN: Thanks folks. That’s it. Gotta go. Now appearing on the pole to my right, Miss PEARL HARBOR!

VOICE: Gawd! That guy stunk. It’s about time!

COMEDIAN: That you Raj?

VOICE: No, you!

AUDIENCE: [Rising voices, glasses clink, the story dies]

One Comment on "The Albertaliberals spawn Liberalberta … this is a joke, isn’t it?"

  1. ronmac says:

    As far as I’m concerned the Alberta Liberals have been going downhill ever since they picked Grant Mitchell as leader back in the 90′s.

    How anybody can pick somebody who is 5’7″ or less is beyond me. Maybe you can get away with it if they were a barroom scrapper but Mitchell was no barroom scrapper.

    You need somebody you can see over the podium. It’s all about projection. The highest compliment you can give a politician is this:

    Dumb as a post but in control.

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