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Putting Christ back in Christmas: maybe Christians themselves need to ‘press reset’

Jesus, centre, separates the sheep from the goats. Don’t ask what happens to the goats. Below: St. Paul and modern Evangelical favourite Ayn Rand.

Today is Christmas, and thus an opportunity for many who think of themselves as adherents of the Christian faith to lecture everyone else sternly about the need to “put Christ back into Christmas.”

This is, after all, His birthday, they remind us – although, actually, it’s almost certainly not, but that doesn’t really matter as Dec. 25 stands in for it at a conveniently miserable time of year when European pagans would otherwise quite sensibly have gone on celebrating the imminent return of shorter and warmer days to their deeply chilled continent instead of the somewhat less imminent, as it turned out, return of their saviour.

Notwithstanding all that, the point of this particular little Christmas homily is that if Christians want to put Christ back into Christmas, an excellent place to start would be by paying attention to what Christ taught them – which seemingly nowadays has very little to do with the things that most concern a very large percentage of practicing Christians.

This is especially true of Evangelical Protestants – like the good people who raised me – who nowadays seem to be mostly focused on the Three Gs, with a side helping of Israel and the End Times. The Three Gs are, of course, Guns (they like ’em), Gays (they don’t) and Gifts (well, who doesn’t, eh?). By the way, unless you’re a black-helicopter conspiracist, Geometers and Geometry don’t come anywhere near this particular string of Gs.

However, as St. Paul (the saint, that is, not the city) most certainly didn’t say, the greatest of these is Gifts.

Indeed, so great is the last of the Three Gs, that some observers have theorized North America, and this would most certainly include its stubbornly secularist northern half, “is now firmly in the grip of a different religion: shopping.”

This fact, naturally, is the very thing that prompts annoyingly self-righteous Christians to decry consumerism and demand the immediate restoration of Christ to Christmas – especially if the Christian doing the decrying is the family patriarch (or, in possibly a majority households nowadays, the matriarch) contemplating the coming struggle to pay off the Visa bill.

But what, as we are constantly being asked by these same people in other circumstances, would Jesus say?

Depending, of course, on your view of the inerrancy of Scripture, we actually have a pretty good idea, since it was all taken down and (on at least one occasion) used against him in a court of law.

And so, speaking of courts, here’s an interesting commentary by Jesus himself (who most certainly was opposed to needless violence and never uttered a single word on the topic of homosexuality) on what the future holds – a commentary, it is said here, that should be attended to by followers of the Christian religion, in particular those who mix what they think of as their religious fundamentalism with economic market fundamentalism.

On the theory that what the adult Christ had to say is likely more relevant to how Christians ought to live than the story of the infant Jesus – which is bound to be reprinted anyway on the editorial page of the Calgary Herald, that old friend of values most associated nowadays with much of Christianity, such as narcissism, personal greed, intolerance and the absence of mercy – our text today comes instead from the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 25, starting at Verse 32.

“…And before him shall be gathered all nations; and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats. And he shall set the sheep on his right hand and the goats on his left. Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:

“For I was an hungered and ye gave me meat; I was thirsty and ye gave me drink; I was a stranger and ye took me in; Naked and ye clothed me; I was sick and ye visited me; I was in prison and ye came unto me.”

And the righteous, on his right hand, sounding more than a little perplexed, respond with questions:

“Lord, when saw we thee an hungered, and fed thee? Or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

“And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. …”

If the righteous sound mildly surprised by all this, as if their reward were quite unexpected to them, perhaps this was because so many Christians have been taught by the actions and the words of their leaders that charity – and, it is said here, the extension of charity into earthly government – was of no consequence at all, or even a bad thing.

As for those on his left hand, the ones who failed to do their charitable work, I won’t trouble readers about what happened to them, save to say that Pastor Alan Hunsperger late of Alberta’s Wildrose Party would have understood their fate even if he were surprised by the sin that provoked it.

No, Jesus didn’t have anything good at all to say about the “virtue of selfishness,” which to hear a lot of Christians nowadays you’d think was part of the Gospel of Jesus, not the gospel of Ayn Rand. Rather, he taught us about the need to provide food and drink for the hungry, clothing to the poor, offer mercy to those in prison, and proper care to the sick. You know, like those social workers the late Ms. Rand, the atheistic market-fundamentalist avatar, held in such deep contempt.

Not incidentally, by the way, Jesus also instructed us to pay our taxes. (Matthew 22:21)

Jesus most certainly did not teach us that the accumulation of wealth was virtuous on its own merits or any signifier of favour in the eyes of God. Indeed, he said the opposite: “…It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.” (Matthew 19:24)

So if it’s rampant consumerism that bothers modern North American Christians, they ought to speak up about the corporations that encourage this behaviour and the right-wing governments that slavishly enable them, indeed, the whole capitalist system that depends on it.

Above all, if Christians want us to put Christ back into Christmas – where, arguably, he belongs – they need to start the process themselves by letting his teachings govern their actions.

If they won’t, who but Christians themselves can be blamed for the “war on Christmas”?

Happy Holidays!

This post also appears on Rabble.ca.

The National Post on union kids’ camps: Threat or menace?

Kids from Friedrich Engels Cabin at Camp Solidarity think about ways to seize control of the means of production at the National Post and establish the Information Dictatorship of the Proletariat. Well, they’ll never get the chance, because they never worked for Ted Byfield! The National Post says union kids camps are not just bad, they’re weird! Below: The Post’s illustration of kids at union camp; Prof. Frank Furedi, who confirms the diagnosis union camps are weird; Prof. Troy Glover, apparently in his camping clothes.

Confession time: Years ago I sat on the board of a church camp.

I sent my kids there. One year one of my daughters was a counsellor at the camp.

And at that camp, they taught those kids … and here comes the confession part … Christian doctrine!

Real Christian doctrine, too, stuff right out of the Bible about helping the poor, kindness to the imprisoned and letting he who is without sin cast the first stone.

This is not the sort of thing the raw-meat fundies who support the Wildrose Party and Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s so-called Conservatives think of as being Christian at all. The Bronze Age rigours of the Old Testament are more to their taste.

Anyway, there wasn’t all that much doctrine at that camp, in fact. I think the kids there spent most of their time canoeing, getting sunburns, eating marshmallows until they threw up and making lame crafts they took home and left lying around their houses until their moms quietly tossed them out. Plus, they all got a T-shirt, on which I got a deal for the camp from a unionized shirt supplier.

I have to say, I never saw much difference, good or bad, in my kids’ behaviour when they got home. Just the same, and there’s just no way to get around this, you’d have to call the Christian doctrine that camp taught those children … ideology!

Well, what’s the big deal about that, you wonder? As kids, lots of us had to suffer through summer camps our parents thought would improve us. And lots of us snuck out of evening prayers and necked with some other kid from the church in Burnaby or Aldergrove behind one of the cabins, which for many of us was first time we really gave any serious thought to the doctrine of turning the other cheek.

Well, I only mention this because the National Post has made the discovery that – oh my gosh!!!some unions have kids’ camps too!

Unions! And you know what that means! Ideology!

“At these summer camps, ideology doesn’t take a holiday,” barked the headline over the story by the appropriately named Kathryn Blaze Carlson.

Holy cow! Ms. Carlson informs us that not only are union members sending their kids to camps where they might watch a movie with Jack Layton in it instead of Jack Nicholson, but there are summer kids’ camps run by environmentalists (which as we should all know by now is tantamount to treason in Mr. Harper’s Canada), and even camps operated by … wait for it … vegans! (Editor’s Note: You’ve used up your quota of exclamation points. Just stop it!)

Now, the mainstream media always strives for balance, so Ms. Carlson was also scrupulous to mention in passing that there are Tea Party camps south of the Medicine Line too. But really, you can sense from the tone of the article that’s basically OK with the Great Friends of Free Speech who run the National Post, because at least there the children would learn something useful – you know, like firing a MAC-10.)

Getting back to the horror, the horror, of union kids’ camps – for gosh sake, the Alberta Federation of Labour has one, and now the Canadian Union of Public Employees has started one too – Ms. Carlson trots out an expert named Troy Glover from something called the Canadian Summer Camp Research Project who explained, “this is how you indoctrinate youth — you get them involved in fun activities and you teach them a message on the side.”

Goodness, the next thing you know, these children might be influenced into becoming the kind of grownups who stand up for their rights in the workplace, make lousy consumers of poorly made foreign-sourced electronic trinkets or, worse, turn into vegans so serious they won’t eat anything that casts a shadow. (Sorry, stolen joke. Cultural artifact.)

Ms. Carlson intones: “Parents who enjoy hockey or the ballet take their children to NHL games or the Nutcracker.* Catholic mothers and fathers take their children to church, Jews to synagogue, Muslims to the mosque. Is sending a child to an ideological camp simply an extension of that sort of natural parental influence, or is it inappropriate?” (Emphasis added.)

Union kids’ camps? Threat or menace? Well, of course it’s inappropriate, and Ms. Carlson has an expert to explain that too. She had to go a long way to find him – which proves the Post is serious about getting to the bottom of this dreadful stuff.

“‘Parents want their children to hang out with kids whose parents think like them — it’s a natural gravitation,’ said Frank Furedi, a sociologist at the University of Kent in Britain. ‘If you take your values seriously, you’ll want to influence your child. This is just an extreme version of that.’” (Emphasis added again.)

Just as we thought … extremists. (Editor’s Note: Oh, go ahead, you can use more exclamation points. This is harder to stop than I thought.)

Thanks! Extremists! Now, where was I? Oh yeah… “Mr. Furedi said not only is there ‘something weird’ about these camps, but they could deepen the societal divisions that already exist. And Mr. Glover said he is simply ‘uncomfortable’ at the idea of camps where children could be ostracized for going against the ideological grain,” Ms. Carlson explains.

Speaking of deepening societal divisions, it must have taken great restraint for Ms. Carlson not to use the term “class war.” So have you got that? It’s not just weird to teach children that working together can be effective, it’s divisive. It leads to class war! Just like that Tom Mulcair guy and his dangerous discourse on Dutch Disease.

And that’s why union camps are bad. Ditto vegan camps. And especially environmental camps, which are not only dangerous but drain the precious resources of the Canadian Security Intelligence Service, because we’ll all have to pay for the CSIS agents’ mosquito repellent, marshmallows and overtime though our taxes, which are already way too high of course.

So just stop it people! Don’t send your kids to union camps! Just say no!

Send them to a church camp, where they’ll never be ostracized for going against the ideological grain.

Well, maybe a bit. And they might get lucky, which would also be bad. But at least they’ll never get leaflets!

*Actually, lots of parents who enjoy hockey and dancing can’t afford NHL games or the ballet. But they don’t teach that at Camp National Post, apparently.

This post also appears on Rabble.ca.